Music Note

I think it's pretty safe to assume that most people have a 'must-do list' for all the things they want to accomplish, places they want to see, and experiences they want to experience in their lifetime. 
I definitely have one, and each year of my adulthood I try to cross off at least one thing, whether big or small.
One of the things on my list has always been to learn how to play the saxophone. Saaaaaaxamaphooooone! (Sorry, a lil' Homer Simpson humor there! Love that show!). And my reason for the sax? Well it started back in Junior High. I took band in grade seven (please resist all expected band camp jokes, ha ha). The people who joined band had to write a music test. The people with the highest percentage results got first pick of their instrument of choice. I was second pick and got stuck with the choice of tuba, baritone, trombone or clarinet. I went with the trombone only because I thought the slide was pretty cool, but really, I was so bummed out that I didn't get my sax. I've always loved the sounds of jazz and Kenny G when I was a kid and thought the sax was by far the best piece of brass ever constructed, with an amazing sexy, smooth sound, and with such style! So you can imagine the heart break when I found out I would not be playing it.
Although I played trombone, I always told myself that one day damn it, I will get to play the sax, and I will love it!
I never forgot about it, but amongst life's business and other priorities I never gave myself the chance yet to just go and do it, just go and learn! That is until this past Christmas where my youngest brother, whom I'm closest with out of all 3 brothers, bought me saxophone lessons, and a rental sax for a month from a music store here in Calgary! I could not believe my eyes when I opened that gift! He was just as pumped about it as I was. He kept saying "Open mine next! Open mine next! You're gonna love it!!!"
And I surely did. Not only was the gift absolutely amazing and cool, but the fact that my little bro actually paid attention to me all the years when I had mentioned back then how I want to learn to play the sax one day was pretty impressive, and really thoughtful of him! He's such a grinch around Christmas but the fact that he put this much thought into it was really quite heart warming.
So.....I have been learning how to play the sax for about a month now and I am just loving it! I started out with the tenor sax because I love the deeper sounds, however I had to switch to the alto due to the heaviness of the tenor around my neck ( I have a bad neck injury from a previous car accident). So I switched it up to the alto and was a bit skeptical at first because I knew it would be a higher sounding sax, but...turns out I love it more than the tenor because you can still get some really great low tones out of that thing from one octave to the next one. I also am finding it easier with the fingering on the key pads, whereas with the tenor your fingers are spread out a bit more due to the fact that its a bigger sax.
I laugh when I think of the first day I put that sax together, slid the strap over my neck and made my first sound - don't know why I thought it would sound all Kenny G-like being my first time but I did , I was on a saxophone high and went into my own little world when I picked it up, ha ha! So, it pretty much sounded like a sick whale. It was horrible yet hilarious! And for anyone who's thinking of maybe learning to play a sax, when you first blow a note, don't think it's going to be as easy as putting your mouth on the mouth piece and blowing to make a sound. No, no, no......without sounding dirty (get your mind out of the gutter people) it's all about lip placement, and teeth placement, and tongue placement on that reed. If you don't get those things down to a 't' ? Sick whale sounds coming your way! Or possibly just really awful squeaks!
I'm still very new and learning but I am having a lot of fun, and I can now play a couple tunes, and I'm in the midst of learning "Fever". Love that song, so sexy!! When I've told people that I'm learning sax, the first reaction has been "Really? Wow!! So cool!!" then sometimes followed by a "Are you planning on joining a band?". The answer is 'no', no I'm not doing it to join a band or anything like that. I'm doing it because I love music, I've always had appreciation for musicians, and if I can learn to make music again, even if it's just for myself, then that just makes my life that much sweeter. Even if I only end up playing it for a few months, that is still an amazing accomplishment for myself that I can now cross off my list. I'm a 'right-brainer', and so naturally doing things like this, tapping into my creative, imaginative side, almost unleash and inspire other aspects of my life, and they all feed off each other in the best way. I'm grateful that I can find inspiration in many different things, or just pure bliss, even in the simplest of things. Will I ever be a jazz soloist selling out seats in Manhattan? No. Will I ever record an album? No. Will I ever join a band? Probably not. And do I want to? Not really. But my point is this - do the things you've always wanted to do no matter how silly they may sound, do something that makes you happy and don't feel the need to have any rhyme or reasoning behind it. I'm doing this simply because I want to. No big reason, no big plan, and it's perfect that way. It's just like that girl on the dance floor who can't dance ; she doesn't care, she's doing it because she enjoys it! And me? Oh I am totally enjoying the sax! That's one more thing I get to cross off my list, and boy does it feel good! If my brother hadn't bought me this gift, who knows when I would have actually got motivated enough to go out and do it for myself? That thought alone got me thinking of just how quick time flies, and how easy it is to make excuses for not doing the things we like to do. It inspired me to make more time for these things. It inspired me to stay true to my list. It inspired me to share this with you.

On The Flip Side....

In response to my male audience from last Sundays blog post who all loved it but also wanted to see a rule list for women on how to be classy, I have decided to fulfill that request in all fairness.

However........... for the men that read my last post and got all fired up and felt they needed to defend themselves, this post won't be in reference to you and how a lady should treat you. No, no, this post will be in representation of today's gentlemen looking for a classy lady. If you are a true modern day gentleman then my last post resulted in applaud from you, and I thank you. You clearly knew that that post was about all the less desirable type of men out there, rather than yourself, you gentleman you ;)

So, one thing that seems to be a bit of an issue according to men is that when it comes to modern day women, over the years, dating way back, we have pushed and pushed for gender equality, and we have since succeeded. Women nowadays strive to be independent as much as possible, to be leaders, to bring home the 'bacon' , and to basically play all roles whether it's at work, in a family setting, or a romantically involved relationship. We have pushed to get here, and now that we have it we miss the old days of lives where roles were a bit more different, where we were courted properly, taken care of, and swept off our feet in blissful romances. So how we do find a balance? How do we modify these new age rules and satisfy both genders? How can we make the men feel more like men, the women feel more like women, all while maintaining some sense of equality in these relationships?

I don't have the answers to that but I do know that if we can all just become a little smarter and more in tune with recognizing certain traits of the opposite sex, then we will be able to better identify these differences , thus finding that modern day gentleman, or lady.

One problem I hear men complaining of is how women can tend to be all about money, or 'gold-diggers' if you will, and that is a very fair point made, especially living here in Calgary. It's true. There are a lot of women like that. Just as there are a lot of 'assholes' here who play multiple women at the same time. You're going to find that anywhere I think. However, when it comes to the comparison of a 'gold-digger' versus an act of being gentlemanly or ladylike , I think that's like comparing apples to oranges. 'Gold-diggers', in my opinion, are not a representation of a woman's manners, etiquette,  appearance, or romantic behaviour. If a woman is all about money, although shallow or desperate to have the sole need for being taken care of financially doesn't mean she doesn't know how to conduct herself as a lady, have manners, or be kind to people. Do I agree with women like that? No. That's not my thing, personally. I hold value in other areas. But I would imagine it would be fairly easy to find out within the first date or two, no? In which at that point, as soon as your recognize it, bail out of that relationship right away, just as we have to when we recognize a man is an 'asshole'. Do we always ? Absolutely not. Us women can be notorious for staying with men like that simply because we fall into a slump, start making excuses, and convince ourselves it's normal and that we are in fact in love.

Which brings me to my next point.....men are saying that us women lead them on making them think we are interested when in fact we are not. Sure , there are situations where both men and women do this, BUT for the most part I'm going to have to be on the women's side here for a minute...and this is where the classy lady part comes in. Let's use myself for example, I am a very friendly woman. I have manners, I have respect for people, I like being generous when I can and I am kind. To everyone ( unless you give me a reason not to be). I find it frustrating when my niceness gets confused for me being romantically interested in someone. If I'm interested in becoming anything more, I will let him know. So being polite and kind, as a lady should be, can sometimes come off in other ways to men, and so I believe that that may be the reason why someone feel a need to be a bit more harsh or cold as to not give the wrong impression. My advice to men with this one, if you're ever unsure, just outright ask. Don't beat around the bush. Be straight forward and put it out there. You'll have your answer, and a lot less if a headache wondering about it.

More feedback I've received is that women will try hard to have the appearance of a classy lady but then totally ruin it because their personality or way of words are just downright ugly. Or even their actions. Ladies, putting on a beautiful dress and doing your hair and makeup perfectly does not make you a lady! It's the person inside and your actions that do. The dress and jewelry are just to polish you and seal the whole package. I've heard from men, and sadly even witnessed myself some women who are dressed to the nines yet are spitting all over the sidewalks and cursing like a sailor as they walk along in their high heels. Not sexy or classy at all. Don't get me wrong, I'm no angel. I do curse but there is a time and place for everything my lovely ladies. And so, just in case we forgot or need a refresher, here is the modern rules for being a lady, as per requested.

Rules Of A Modern Day Lady

1. Always dress like you're going to meet your worst enemy.

2. Always be classy. Never trashy. Just a little nasty.

3. Respect yourself. If you don't, he won't either.

4. Stop comparing yourself to others.

5. Be happy with what you've got.

6. Confidence is sexy.

7. If he doesn't chase you when you walk away, then keep walking.

8. Cinderella didn't need to take off her dress to get her Prince Charming, and neither do you.

9. Respect the people who find time for you in their busy schedules. But love those who never look at their schedules when you really need them.

10. Acting dumb isn't cute. Intelligence is hot.

11. It might seem the hardest thing to do, but forget about the guy who forgot about you.

12. Make him chase you. Play hard to get sometimes.

13. Never change for anyone but yourself.

14. Be the woman a man needs, not the woman who needs a man.

15. Your dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman and loose enough to show your a lady.

16. Never apologize for what you feel. It's like saying sorry for being real.

17. Giving up doesn't mean you're weak. Sometimes it means you're strong enough to let go.

18. If you love someone, tell them, before it's too late.

19. Act like a lady, think like a man.

20. Never underestimate the power of a name. Use them. Be remembered.

21. Your smile is the sexiest curve on your entire body.

22. Never be reckless with his heart, and don't tolerate those who are reckless with yours.

23. Don't brag....too much.

24. A true lady doesn't start fights, but sure knows how to finish them.

25. Be approachable, have good posture, smile, and remember your manners.

26. Hold doors for everyone, especially older people or people carrying heavy things.

27. Have at least one outfit in the closet for a job interview, one for a first date, and one for going to see family (yours or someone else's) The amount of of headaches that can be spared by simply having a versatile blazer and pencil skirt at one's disposal are incalcuable.

28. Be a good hostess - learn how to make people feel comfortable and welcome in your house, and leave feeling like they got to be themselves.

29. Stop looking at marriage as the defining endeavor in a woman's life, no matter how much it has been ingrained into you. It should neither be something you actively disdain, nor something you seek out with white-knuckled deadlines.

30. Always have a back-up plan.

31. Give other women compliments when they are sincere and non-selfish, because girl-on-girl compliments are the greatest thing and a mark of a true lady.

32. Be the one to kiss first sometimes, and don't ever think that makes you weird or too forward. First kisses are too great a joy not to be shared by all genders.

33. You can never be overdressed or over educated.

34. If a man whistles at you, do not respond. You are a lady, not a dog.

35. Always cross your legs when wearing a skirt. Always.

36. A lady knows her limits no matter what. Stick to your guns. Hold your head high, but not your nose.









Sources : www.wattpad.com, pintertest.com, www.gallerybound.ca

A New Generation Of....."Gentlemen"

gent·le·man

ˈjentlmən/

noun

noun: gentleman; plural noun: gentlemen

1.

a chivalrous, courteous, or honorable man

 gentleman
 (n.) A man of calm demeanor, strong preserve, intellectual thinking, polite yet meaningful speak and a good upbringing. A fighter for the cause of right with words, not guns.

No matter how you look at it, no matter if it's a Webster definition or an UrbanDictionary definition, the word 'gentleman' is a universally understood word, and might I add as a woman, is a very appreciated one.

Working in the industries that I work in, I am constantly engaged in a lot of one on one conversation with people, women being a large part. I also have many girlfriends who attest to what I am blogging about today, single or not, because it's just that big of an 'epidemic' where even the most out of the loop, living under a rock individual would know of. Also men. Yep, their very own gender have been shamefully nodding their heads in agreement with the lack of gentlemen, or gentlemen qualities that are out there nowadays.

I'm constantly left scratching my head wondering what the hell is wrong with "men" these days and is it just going to continually get worse as years go by? Or will it be something like a fashion trend where perhaps gentlemen aren't "in" at the moment, but just like platform shoes, dark lipstick, and Hammer pants, they'll make a reappearance down the road again when the cycle of 'coolness' repeats? Thus the spawning of this post. Gentlemen....urban myth of the 21st century perhaps?

I'm not sure how it is in other parts of the world presently, but one thing I know for sure is that here, where I am, gentlemen or men with some gentleman-like qualities are a very rare find. As I mentioned before, in my line of work both as an RMT and as a Makeup Artist I talk to people all day. So you can imagine all the different conversations I engage in. Particularly with women. Some older, some a lot older, some the same age as I, and some younger. The common denominator? They all are confused and asking about the same thing....why are men these days so uncouth, so disrespectful, so inconsiderate, and lacking complete effort in courtship? Why don't men know how to properly approach a woman, how to date a woman, how to compliment, conversate and dine with a woman? In a world today where efficiency and convenience has become the name of the game, and where it's all about how to get things done faster, and cheaper, sadly I believe that this has transcended into the dating world. Our world has become so busy where we can't even make the time for someone anymore, not even for ourselves it seems, and so when it comes to dating, online dating websites and apps have become the more common method of finding that special someone.

Okay, so it takes the effort out of looking for someone, or approaching someone yourself in person and taking a risk right? It eliminates what some would call the "hassle" of dating. I personally love the serendipitous possibilities of romance, but hey, I'm a hopeless romantic, so what can ya do?

Then there is the first date. It could be a dinner and a movie type thing, it could even be something fun and interactive like mini golf or ice skating.....but......wait, we'll stop it right there for a minute......because this is precisely where a lot of problems seem to start from. Yes, it's sad that it's already right at the beginning, but it's true. Okay so what I'm hearing from many, many, many women (my own experiences included) is the complaint of this ; for a first date, the guy always suggests "Hey do you wanna come over and watch movies on my couch with me?". Oh. My. God. Alright, men who are reading this that don't see a problem with this at all?? You need a serious crash course in dating. First of all, asking a lady to come over and hang out on your couch with you is not a date. I repeat, it is not a date. We all know that even since Junior High, going over to someones house to watch movies is just code word for makeout/sex. So by all means, if that's your established goal between the two of you, then go for it, enjoy yourself! However if this is a woman you are wanting to impress, would it kill you to make some actual effort and plan a real date? Maybe hold the door open for her? Maybe treat her the first time instead of her treating you? Maybe try having some class? Maybe call her instead of texting her? Maybe try giving her an actual genuine compliment rather than "You turn me on" or "Your ass looks so good in those jeans"? Those are just a few 'maybes'. And to my male readers who are already experienced in how to act like a gentleman and do so, please don't take offense to any of this. This is directed to the ones out there (and let me tell you, there's lots!) who are either completely and utterly clueless or who simply just don't care! But really, you should care because gentlemen are the men who get noticed by all. They are the ones who will benefit in life in all sorts of different relationships and encounters, be it business related or personal. Many of the "men" out there today (and I use the word "men" very loosely on this one) are the complete opposite of the definition, and I honestly don't know if it's just that they weren't raised to be one and therefore don't know any better, or if they're afraid to be labeled a "wimp" or "gay" by their testosterone driven buddies, but whatever the reason is, it's enough to make a lot of us women stay single because we simply won't settle or lower our standards to date someone who has no manners, class, intelligence, and sincerity.

However, on the flip side, I do know that there are a lot of men out there who truly are awesome and know how to be true gentlemen, so we thank you for that. You are amazing. You are a rare find. Please don't ever change and please teach the others your ways. For those who haven't the slightest clue where to start, I've added a helpful lil' list just for you! You're welcome.

Wake us when the 'epidemic' is over.

Sincerely, Appreciative Women.

 

A Modern Gentleman's 30 Rules

1. Be gentle to the fairer sex, it's in the name.
2. Dress well no matter the occasion.
3. Pride is dangerous, be careful.
4. Be humble, be grateful.
5. Opening the door or giving a seat up for a lady isn't up for discussion.
6. Work hard.That is if you want to own anything worth having.
7. Starting/instigating a fight is for school boys, but men obtain the power to end one.
8. Ignorance isn't bliss. Knowledge is power.
9. Suit up. (Make sure they're tailored to fit) 
10. Confidence is a gentleman's trademark. 
11. Comfort zones are for the weak. Men aren't weak.
12. Foul language is for the less educated.
13. Make eye contact and mean business.
14. Lower your standards for no one.
15. Being romantic doesn't make you a woman.
16. Stay groomed.
17. Admit when you're wrong.
18. Always make the first move. You're the MAN.
19. Handwritten "Thank You" cards aren't "outdated". Use them.
20. Chivalry is not dead. There are just too many boys.
21. It is said you can tell a lot about a man by his handshake, so make it strong and firm.
22. Leave her breathless.
23. Judge no one, just improve yourself.
24. Speak your mind, don't hesitate.
25. Offer your arm to a lady while walking, they'll feel secure.
26. You're the man. You pay.
27. Women love compliments, gentlemen provide them.
28. Never wear your hat indoors, it's disrespectful.
29. Make sure everyone has their plate before you start eating.
30. We don't always have to be the center of attention, but we are always noticed. It is our signature as gentlemen to come, make a statement, leave, and be remembered.

Source : www.teachingmensfashion.com

1. Be gentle to the fairer sex, it's in the name.
2. Dress well no matter the occasion.
3. Pride is dangerous, be careful.
4. Be humble, be grateful - See more at: http://www.teachingmensfashion.com/3/post/2013/05/a-modern-gentlemans-30-rules.html#sthash.ivIerst4.dpuf

1. Be gentle to the fairer sex, it's in the name.
2. Dress well no matter the occasion.
3. Pride is dangerous, be careful.
4. Be humble, be grateful
5. Opening the door or giving up a seat for a lady isn't up
for discussion.
6. Work hard, that is if you want to own anything worth having
7. Starting / instigating a fight is for school boys, but men obtain the power to end one.
8. Ignorance isn't bliss, knowledge is power.
9. Suit up (make sure they're tailored to fit)
10. Confidence is a gentleman's trademark.
11. Comfort zones are for the weak, men aren't weak.
12. Foul language is for the less educated. - See more at: http://www.teachingmensfashion.com/3/post/2013/05/a-modern-gentlemans-30-rules.html#sthash.ivIerst4.dpuf

1. Be gentle to the fairer sex, it's in the name.
2. Dress well no matter the occasion.
3. Pride is dangerous, be careful.
4. Be humble, be grateful
5. Opening the door or giving up a seat for a lady isn't up
for discussion.
6. Work hard, that is if you want to own anything worth having
7. Starting / instigating a fight is for school boys, but men obtain the power to end one.
8. Ignorance isn't bliss, knowledge is power.
9. Suit up (make sure they're tailored to fit)
10. Confidence is a gentleman's trademark.
11. Comfort zones are for the weak, men aren't weak.
12. Foul language is for the less educated. - See more at: http://www.teachingmensfashion.com/3/post/2013/05/a-modern-gentlemans-30-rules.html#sthash.ivIerst4.dpuf

 

The Puzzle Pieces That Are Me

Within the last 4-5 years I would have to say I have learned so much about myself.  Particularly the last 3 years, and I can't even really pin point why. I know there has been a lot of change that has occurred with my life in that time frame, including the end of a long term job and the start of a new career, and the ending of a long term relationship in which I thought was indefinitely destined for marriage. Well as we all know, life doesn't always turn out the way we think it will. In fact, it almost never does. But that's not to say that the unexpected is necessarily a bad thing. The optimistic part of me thinks that one door never closes without another door opening up, even though we might not see it immediately.

Funny, when I think of when I was in my early twenties I thought I knew everything. I mean, don't we all? We think we have it all figured out, who we really are, what we will and will not stand for, and what we aspire to be. Now looking back, I throw my head back and laugh at twenty year old me. Not because at 30 now I think I know everything about myself, no, no, no...not at all. It's because I have come to the realization of just how diverse and deep we are inside, and how we are always growing, changing, evolving. It never stops. I think it's beautiful actually. We're like plants that way, always growing, and changing direction. You may not think you are, for whatever reason. You may think that possibly because you have been stuck in the same rut for a long time, and that nothing has changed much in your life, that you're not growing. But you are! Inside!

One of the things I have really started to enjoy and cherish in my late 20s and now even into my 30s is the quiet moments I have alone with myself, my mind. As an example, years ago I used to get so angry being stuck in rush hour traffic. I would clench my teeth and fume the entire time, giving myself a headache over it. Now? Now I have been able to make some light of the situation, and I take that time to reflect on me, my day, my life, and just get to know the me inside a little bit better. Yes I realize this may sound a bit  hippy or super spiritual, but it's true! And if that makes me a hippy, then I guess that makes me a hippy. Ha ha!
Honestly though, the times where it's just me and my thought are some of the best, most sweetest moments I look forward to. It's too easy for us to just float along in life, blasting through our days without giving it much thought, and just praying for the days to pass as quickly as possible until you get to the weekend, or that vacation you may be counting down for, or just that deadline you might have for something. But what about the days in between?

When I sit back and have that time to myself, I have reflected things. I have thought about my past, my present, and my future. I have thought of occurrences that have shaped me into who I am today. Obviously not all good, however when I look at the big picture and the end result, I wouldn't have it any other way because who the hell wants to be perfect? I sure as hell don't. Perfect is boring.

Knowing and experiencing what I have gone through in life, the friendships Ive had and have, the decisions Ive made whether good or bad, and well...everything else in between IS the reason I am who I am today! It's the reason I've grown to enjoy the things I enjoy, appreciate and value the things and people that I do, love the people I love, see the places I've seen, ask the questions I ask, live for the things that I live for, and want to be the person that I want to be or strive to be. Each year I learn more about myself than the previous year and I almost feel like it's the equivalent of adding a puzzle piece to a giant 1000 piece puzzle (you know the ones I'm talking about - those dreaded ones where they look beautiful on the box but you're spending multiple hours laying down on the floor of your house trying to put together AND not lose even 1 piece at the same time). Metaphorically speaking, each puzzle piece that I add and fit to this puzzle creation adds to the big, final picture, and makes the picture slowly come together and make total sense why that piece is where it is, and to give assurance that it is a part of something bigger and better than just that one little puzzle piece that it is.

See, last year, I used to be scared about turning 30. I didn't like the sound of it, I didn't like the fact I would no longer have that '2' in front of my age, and I was honestly just a little bit scared because society here has painted this picture of these certain expectations we are to have by certain age numbers, and if we aren't there in life yet, then we're 'failing' or are 'falling behind'. I was scared to officially grow up in a sense and felt that I would have to leave certain things behind because I would now have to strive for what our society would deem as bigger and better things. Well...who's to say that MY bigger and better isn't about taking more time to draw and write again, or to start crossing off all these little fun classes and courses that I have always wanted to try, or even just indulging in more healthy and inspiring things like travel, volunteer work, different activities, or spending more time reconnecting with family and friends?

Now that I am 30 and am approaching 31, I honestly feel pretty great with where I am in my life. If you asked me that awhile ago I probably would have said the opposite, but I have shifted and adjusted my definition of happiness and put more into the appreciation and acknowledgement of my quality of life and the people in it that I'm so lucky to have, rather than solely the material aspect ( I talk about this quite a bit in last Sunday's post)

To date, I have learned so much about who I am, and I continue to every single day. I am learning how to be my own best friend, and how to love my flaws. I am also learning how to see the good in bad, and to make sure I keep close the things that I know inspire me. We all have down days, and some days there are times when I just cannot seem to pull myself out of a funk, but the difference is that I know myself. I know that all I need is to give myself that time alone, that time to just block everything else out, and rearrange my thoughts and focus. Once I do that, I go find my inspiration. And I know exactly where it is.

Two Countries, Two Different Worlds

Well Christmas is done and another year come to an end in just a few days. I sure do love Christmas as you know if you have read my previous posts. There is so much preparation, time, and money that goes into the big day, and then when it's over, it's over. Just like that. I love it, but one thing I notice is that every single year it becomes more and more materialistic and the true meaning of the holiday becomes lost a little bit more each year. Gifts become more extravagant, people become too busy where they can't even make the time to shop let alone wrap the gifts they bought, and all in all everything just seems to be more about the dollar sign. And it doesn't just stop at Christmas, no, this has become a way of life for people in North America. It's all about what material things we have, and finding ways to get bigger and better than our friends or neighbors, or about having more. It simply is never enough. This is of course true in the material aspect, but also I've noticed it in the aspects of relationships we have with people. Why is it that everyone seems to always be in competition with each other? Are we all just contestants in this game called life where we can never be content with who we actually are, and so the only way we continue through life is by comparing ourselves to everyone else around us, and either figuring out ways we can get there or surpass them, or by having a pity party for ourselves because we don't have what someone else has?

I know we all have done it at some point. I think it might be a bit of human nature. But I also think it's more North American human nature ( the materialistic part rather) I have done my research within other countries, and I have also had my own first hand experience visiting Guyana, South America this year, and the biggest thing I noticed right away is how they do not place any value on the material things like we do in North America. There is little judgement on what your neighbor possesses over you, and their values lie solely within their families, friendships, and within themselves. What they have does not define who they are, whereas here in North America it's the complete opposite unfortunately. It seems to me that people take precedence in what you own, how you dress, and what you do for work over the actual things that matter such as who you are inside, what stories you have to share in life about where you came from, and what your passions are in life and what you believe in and value. This is one of the things I loved most about Guyana. The people are incredible, and welcoming no matter where you came from, what you have, or what you do. Here's an example ; in my last few days there I had not found the certain souvenirs I was hoping to find so I had looked online before going on my trip and found that there was this mall in Georgetown , Guyana. As much as I love malls and shopping ( hey, I'm a female, leave me alone! Haha!) I wasn't expecting much from a mall there nor was I looking to shop while on my vacation. So I mentioned to my aunt that I would like to check out this mall and see what they have, out of curiosity. Upon telling her that, she had this puzzled look on her face, almost like it was a combination of why on earth do you want to go to a mall and do we even have a mall? She had to stop and think of this so called mall, and where it is. Then she gave us directions and my Dad and brother headed there. Well, it totally and immediately made sense when I got there because although this 'mall' was in some sort of a small building, it was basically like every other street vendor but just out under a roof. There was a single shoe store in there and just some small vendor-type businesses selling little things here and there, some clothes, some knick knacks, perfumes, souvenirs and that was that. I thought to myself " wow, I feel like an idiot for even coming here" The people of Guyana are beautiful, inside and out, some look casual, some look polished, but ALL look happy and proud. They don't give a shit about the superficial things nearly as much like we do. They don't have as much money as other countries yet why does the entire population look so happy, healthy, and well spirited? Going back to comparing it with life in North America, I think it's because they are less stressed than we are, yet the funny thing is WE bring the stress onto ourselves entirely. We let it in. We allow it to happen because we have created this certain type of life with all these expectations and living in competition with others and always trying to appease everyone but ourselves. The focus there is completely different than there. I love how they value the simple things in life. Another example, on one of our last days there we went to Welldaad, Guyana where my Dad was born. After touring around his village and seeing his elementary school he went to, the stand where he would buy candy from, and his very own house with the coconut trees he used to climb, we sat down out back with his family and friends. His old school chum, who still lived in the same house ( as in Guyana apparently no one moves. Once you have built a home, you stay there generally) and he went over to the tree, cut some green mango down , busted out the pepper sauce and salt, and we all sat there sharing mangoes and talking about life. It was one of the sweetest moments of that entire trip. Oh how I envy and adore the value they place in things like that, and I only wish we had the same mentality up here in Canada. 

I do make an effort to try bring that feeling back every now and then, and try attract other people around me into it as well. As I've said it before, the human touch is slowly being lost I think, and my old soul craves it back. We should be indulging in the sweet things in life rather than spending our days desperately trying to keep up with everyone else or compare ourselves to others. Why do people do that? It's mentally exhausting and does no good at all. I think we have just become so used to that, and simply put it's our way of life here in our country.

I know that it's not completely avoidable and sometimes we are put in situations where we may feel that we almost have to pretend or lie to ourselves in order to match our surroundings at that given time, but I think that's bullshit. No one should have to pretend they're something they're not. No one should have to feel in competition or allow themselves to feel inferior or superior to anyone, and no one should be feeling jealous of anyone regardless of what they have/don't have or who they are/ aren't. If you appreciate , love, or admire something or someone, say so. If you aspire to be someone you're not, then make that change within to improve yourself so that you're happy with who you are. If you want to make a change or if you want to see a change, then BE that change. Growing up I have always held value in the simple things in life because that's really all we had as a family, and I found myself having to escape to the sweet places and moments in time quite frequently in order to escape what was presently going on during that time, so I have carried that with me throughout my life indefinitely. When I finally got the chance to visit my Dads country Guyana, I came back even more aware, even more enlightened, even more grateful, and even more hopeful for what I could possibly transcend into other areas of my life, and also to hopefully rub it off onto others as well. The world is so different, so diverse everywhere we go, and Guyana was just a small fraction of it, and an example of how I think we as North Americans need to start taking a page or two out of their book. 

It's the simple things in life that count, and it's taking appreciation for those things that I think would help alleviate some of our stresses on a daily basis. It's also knowing that everyone is unique in their own way, and we should never be trying to compete with anyone, or compare ourselves to others. We all have a purpose in the world, and what we have or don't have is not the definition of who we are. Dig deeper than the superficial layers and peel them back until you see what's inside. You might just be very surprised with what you find.

I Heart Christmas

Well here we are, just a few days before Christmas, and wow has it ever snuck up on me this year! I know they say time flies, and I don't know if its just the fact that I am getting older and everything seems to fly even more so but it seems like lately it just runs away on me....hence this late blog post for today.

The last couple months have been a bit of a whirlwind. I mean normally I finish up all my Christmas baking b the end of November! But this year I only completed it all about 2 weeks ago! So combine that with trying to Christmas shop for so many people, do up my Christmas cards, work two jobs, and find the time to catch up with friends before the holidays? Well, to be honest Im just straight exhausted! However I am looking forward to this work week simply because I only will have to work tomorrow (Monday) and thats it! My days off, plus the holiday days off I get all seamlessly work together to give me a super long week and I am absolutely pumped about it and being able to just chill, breathe and reboot my brain. As much as I love Christmas time, I believe this is necessary for all.

See with Christmas I look forward to all the little things. The simple things. I enjoy being in a house full of family and friends, no matter how hectic or loud it can be, I truly love it. I also love that it seems to be that one time of year for our family to just shut up and get along. There's never any arguing, everyone's in a good mood, and all the old and hilarious childhood stories come out. Especially when there's rum and eggnog involved, and with our family during Christmas, and being Guyanese, there is always rum and eggnog involved. Traditions are another thing that I hold close to my heart. Not the superficial traditions of Christmas, but rather traditions we have created and carried on continuously over the years. I am sure most families do have those one or two little traditions that they might not necessarily see as traditions but in fact they are unique and special to that family. As an example, one thing we do every year is have a huge ass breakfast on Christmas morning. My Dad usually is the one to cook it. We literally have everything on the table, the entirety of breakfast items. Just thinking about now makes me laugh because we're all trying to quickly eat so we can move on to unwrapping gifts together, so there's usually a couple of us whining for the rest to hurry up so we can get started. Oh yes, and rum and eggnog starts from sunrise too.

Another thing that my brothers and I would do (particularly my youngest brother Robert), is watch Christmas movies on Christmas Eve. My number one favorite, hands down is the classic Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer. Not the cartoon ones, no. I'm talking about the old school claymation-type one with Burl Ives narrating. Seriously there is nothing cuter than Rudolph in that movie. Can't forget about the other classics such as Home Alone making it a close 2nd for me. Mr. Bean's Christmas is one we always watch too. Miracle on 34th Street, Christmas Vacation, and even the newer crude ones (now that we're adults of course) like Bad Santa. Man I love that movie! Cracks me up just thinking about it!

Stockings are another thing that our family has always done, and I will never stop doing them because they are simply just the best thing ever to wake up to. It's like being a little kid, no matter how old you get!

We also of course to the big Christmas Day turkey dinner that my Mom beautifully puts together (she makes one mean turkey and all the fixin's). Throughout the evening into the day, and back into the evening there is always an array of sweet treats I bake each year just for the holidays ; shortbread cookies, gingerbread men and gingersnaps, eggnog cookies, holiday bars/squares, bark, sugar cookies etc... This year I even delved into making candied pecans for the first time and they turned out amazing!! I think next year I'll be attempting home made 'turtles'. Mmm!!!!

I also can't forget the simple fact that I love wrapping gifts! I do! And everyone knows it, and they try take advantage of this, but its not really taking advantage when I love doing it already as it is. I love all the pretty wrapping paper, the bows, the glitter, and all the beautiful silver and gold ribbons. I like curling the ribbon and making the top of the gift look like an explosion of ribbon!

Christmas is such a beautiful time to me. I get all giddy and excited throughout the whole month, and from that very first Christmas song of the season even. However, if you follow my blog you would know that this year I was having a hard time getting into the spirit for some reason and found myself to be not as excited as I normally would be. Something felt off, and I felt like I had lost my spirit. Well, this year I can't say that I completely got it back right away, but I can honestly say that now, being just three days before Christmas, that I am finally feeling the warmth of the spirit and I am loving it. I have wonderful people in my life and am attracting positivity and good spirit on all levels. I am happy and fortunate to be alive and spending Christmas with my family and friends because I know that not everyone is that lucky, and so today and always I count my blessings. There is nothing quite like the togetherness of this season amongst people everywhere you go, and the whole world feels a little bit more love when Christmas comes.

Wishing you and your loved ones an absolutely beautiful and merry Christmas this year!

One love.

A Warm And Radiant Heart

Sometimes in the absolute craziness that is our world, in the chaotic schedules that make up our days, we are slowed down for a brief moment in time by something different, something out of the ordinary, something that has caused us to stop for a minute, mentally absorb, and really reflect. This can either be for a good reason or a bad reason. For me, it was a good reason. Yesterday I was lucky enough to experience a sweet moment in time after a heartwarming and connected conversation I had with my darling friend Natalie. 
And I am blessed.
So blessed.
Growing up I have always kept a good circle of friendships and I valued each and every single one all for their own unique reasons. I learned a lot about good character, qualities, and knew and understood the true value of a true friend. My childhood, although innocent, playful and full of normal mischief was also surrounded by dark toxicity with our family issues and an abusive brother, so naturally my friends were the sunshine of my life and I learned very quickly how important they were to me, and to never let a good friend go. To this day I have carried this with me and feel just the same and just as strongly, if not, more strongly, and I cherish the real ones more than anything.
I try my best to ensure they all know how much I value them in my life. I'd like to think they value me as well. It's almost an unspoken love. Kind of funny actually. But yesterday, there was no shortage of words from Natalie. My heart is still so warm and radiant from it. I'm not going to sit here typing out all the kind things she said to me, but I will tell you about the feeling. To put things into perspective, I am not a crier. I repeat, I am not a crier. But there came a moment when I had to tell her to stop as I could feel the tears in my eyes welling up. She exhausted herself on telling me how wonderful of a person and friend I am, and how much I mean to her. She complimented me not just on a superficial level but on a spiritual, in depth level. She explained how she thinks I emulate some sort of glowing,  good energy that people gravitate towards, and that I'm the most unselfish person she knows. She also went on to giving me inspiration through telling and reminding me that I have such talents, and how I need to follow my heart with them and continue to keep flourishing and growing and expanding my opportunity within those talents because the sky's the limit and she believes I will do great things with it. Most importantly she told me how grateful and thankful she is for our friendship and that she loves me. We had a little teary moment and then had to pull ourselves together before our evening commenced. My heart was warm and mind was right. Both last night and today I have had this feeling of gratefulness, and I feel so blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful friendships like ours. 
I'm glad she told me. It's a good feeling to know that someone else also believes that you can't put a price on friendships. But tell me why is it that we always need someone else to remind us of our own self worth?
Is it that because we become so engulfed in and mesmerized by everyone elses lives? Or caught up in being admirable or jealous even of someone else that we forget to stop and look in the mirror at ourselves once in awhile? Because I bet if we all just took the time more often to reflect on who we are, where we came from, and the things we had to do to get to where we are at this current moment in time, we'd probably start to think a little differently. I'm not saying that everyone out there is a saint or that we all have had great or easy lives leading up to the point you're at now. No, of course not. Anything worth anything never comes easy. I guess what I'm saying is that we should dig deep past the superficial layers of ourselves more often to reveal and remind ourselves of who we are, what we believe in, what we're passionate about, and where we're going. I believe that there is good in everyone. Some may have to dig deeper than others to find it, but nonetheless, it's there. Then when you find it, take that that feeling and transform it into something even more greater and beautiful.