And I am blessed.
So blessed.
Growing up I have always kept a good circle of friendships and I valued each and every single one all for their own unique reasons. I learned a lot about good character, qualities, and knew and understood the true value of a true friend. My childhood, although innocent, playful and full of normal mischief was also surrounded by dark toxicity with our family issues and an abusive brother, so naturally my friends were the sunshine of my life and I learned very quickly how important they were to me, and to never let a good friend go. To this day I have carried this with me and feel just the same and just as strongly, if not, more strongly, and I cherish the real ones more than anything.
I try my best to ensure they all know how much I value them in my life. I'd like to think they value me as well. It's almost an unspoken love. Kind of funny actually. But yesterday, there was no shortage of words from Natalie. My heart is still so warm and radiant from it. I'm not going to sit here typing out all the kind things she said to me, but I will tell you about the feeling. To put things into perspective, I am not a crier. I repeat, I am not a crier. But there came a moment when I had to tell her to stop as I could feel the tears in my eyes welling up. She exhausted herself on telling me how wonderful of a person and friend I am, and how much I mean to her. She complimented me not just on a superficial level but on a spiritual, in depth level. She explained how she thinks I emulate some sort of glowing, good energy that people gravitate towards, and that I'm the most unselfish person she knows. She also went on to giving me inspiration through telling and reminding me that I have such talents, and how I need to follow my heart with them and continue to keep flourishing and growing and expanding my opportunity within those talents because the sky's the limit and she believes I will do great things with it. Most importantly she told me how grateful and thankful she is for our friendship and that she loves me. We had a little teary moment and then had to pull ourselves together before our evening commenced. My heart was warm and mind was right. Both last night and today I have had this feeling of gratefulness, and I feel so blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful friendships like ours.
I'm glad she told me. It's a good feeling to know that someone else also believes that you can't put a price on friendships. But tell me why is it that we always need someone else to remind us of our own self worth?
Is it that because we become so engulfed in and mesmerized by everyone elses lives? Or caught up in being admirable or jealous even of someone else that we forget to stop and look in the mirror at ourselves once in awhile? Because I bet if we all just took the time more often to reflect on who we are, where we came from, and the things we had to do to get to where we are at this current moment in time, we'd probably start to think a little differently. I'm not saying that everyone out there is a saint or that we all have had great or easy lives leading up to the point you're at now. No, of course not. Anything worth anything never comes easy. I guess what I'm saying is that we should dig deep past the superficial layers of ourselves more often to reveal and remind ourselves of who we are, what we believe in, what we're passionate about, and where we're going. I believe that there is good in everyone. Some may have to dig deeper than others to find it, but nonetheless, it's there. Then when you find it, take that that feeling and transform it into something even more greater and beautiful.
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