This Is Why You're Beautiful

In this day and age the definition of beauty has become quite distorted. It's very easy for us to get caught up in what media and society depicts as what is 'beautiful'. It's also very easy for us to be negative about our own selves, to criticize, to find our flaws, and to compare ourselves to others. In our fast-paced days filled with getting breakfast to go, heavy work loads, traffic jams, exhausting relationships, schedules, and obligations.....when do we find the time to slow down, look at ourselves, and appreciate the absolutely beautiful person we are? And I don't just mean beauty on the outside, I mean true beauty on the inside. So I decided today that this was what I wanted to write about - I want to remind you, today, that you are more beautiful than you know. 

Do you know how beautiful your smile is? Well if you don't, go stand in front of the mirror right now, force a smile and take a look. Look past any flaws that you probably naturally wanna gravitate towards, and appreciate it. Your smile is warm, contagious, and instantly elevates your mood simply by the act alone. Whether your smile may be huge and beaming, a devilish smirk, a slight lip curl, or maybe your nose crinkles with each smile, it's just beautiful.....and as Louis Armstrong says "when you smile, the whole world smiles with you".

Let's not forget that laugh of yours. I personally just love hearing laughter. I love it because everyone's laugh is so unique, and laughter is also ridiculously contagious. Seriously, sometimes just hearing the right kind of laugh can make my day. It's unique to you, it's joyful, full of soul, and should never be contained. If something is funny, laugh for crying out loud!!

Another thing that makes you beautiful is your kindness and compassion towards other people. I'm not saying that you may necessarily be someone who is kind and compassionate all the time. What I'm saying is that for those times when you do show that kindness, it reveals the beautiful person you are inside. It doesn't take a lot to be kind to someone, but it does in fact make an impact in that person's day who's on the receiving end. Also I find that when kindness in all it's beauty is witnessed, it will be passed along. Showing compassion is a huge part of realizing you're beautiful. Not everyone can show empathy, but it is a quality that shines above the rest.

Love. That one word that creates such warmth and richness that we can't live without. Your love is beautiful. No matter who you are showing your love to; family, friends, that special someone, or strangers, and no matter how you show it.....love is love, in all it's forms. So don't ever hide it, or hold back on showing it because your love is something only you can offer, and it truly illuminates you. The same thing goes for your friendship - your friendship is valued by at least one person, and I promise you that. The amount of work that goes into obtaining, and sustaining a great friendship through the years, can only be achieved by someone like you. Showing appreciation, and being appreciated, opening up your heart and being there for that person is worth so much more than anything in the world.....again, going back to the root of love. It takes a strong, and beautiful individual to show it, and one who has confidence. That reminds me, that's yet another reason why you're beautiful. In fact, that's the biggest reason why you're beautiful.

Your confidence is what will you carry you through any situation, indefinitely. No matter what you look like on the outside. No matter your skin color, religion, gender, height, weight, how much money you make, what material things you have or don't have, you possess a unique beauty unlike anyone else. When we project confidence, when we believe in ourselves and when we know know how good of a person we are, it's going to show. It's in your smile, your step, your laughter, your touch, and the way you speak. Even if you find yourself having a crummy day, just fake it til' you make it! Hold your head high, and walk with the grace and confidence of knowing just how exquisite you really are, and eventually your head will catch up with the rest. 

You. Are. Beautiful.

Today, and every single damn day.

Is That A Sausage In Your Pants?

Man I love my family! Just this past Saturday night I had a bunch of my cousins fly in from Toronto, Ontario....hence the day delay in my Sunday blog, as yesterday I was completely in Saturday mode thinking it was not Sunday at all. My dearest apologies.
I actually had something totally different in mind for this blog post yesterday (today), but given the good times this past weekend AND knowing the week ahead while they stay with us, man.....I'm going to have stories for days!
So I don't quite know the title of what I will this call this post at the moment, but by the end of it I'll have something quite fitting, and as you are reading this, you'll already have read the title and are probably wondering "Oh dear God, what is this post gonna be about?!"
Anyhow, onto my hilarious drunken story of our family gathering last evening...and might I add and remind you that it was in fact on a SUNDAY night! So during the day my two older cousins and their sweet, awesome little ones were introduced to downtown Calgary. I took them down to Fiestaval which as you could gather most likely from the name is a Latin inspired festival outside. We also went to the Calgary Tower, which believe it or not, as a born and raised Calgarian of thirty years, I have never been there. I must admit it was pretty cool standing at the top looking down on top of a see-thru glass bottom floor. Sometimes doing the touristy things in your own city can actually be quite fun!!
So afterwards we went over to my brother's place to have a barbecue. Everyone was there ; Mom, Dad, youngest brother, his girlfriend, older brother, his wife, her parents and cousin, my cousins. The grill was completely full of all kinds of meat, there was food splayed out everywhere and drinks were a-flowin'!  It was like an good ol' all-American cookout............but in Canada.
Fast forward a couple hours into the evening after everyone's bellies are full, and the liquor is making  everyone feel just that much more loosened up, and verbally expressive in story telling and and hilarious colorful vocabulary. So my brother's wife started it all, without even knowing it I'm sure, by  periodically bringing up the fact that she really wanted sausage. See, these jumbo sausages were being cooked on the grill, and she was apparently really anxious and wanted to try them, so she kept asking when they would be done as she couldn't wait for the sausage. Then , it pretty much all rolled out from there. First came the sausage jokes about how she was craving sausage so bad, and that she should go tell her husband that. My brother needed to open his beer and that's when my cousin remembered that his belt buckle actually doubled as beer bottle opener - so he proceeded to unbuckle his belt. The funny thing was that we didn't know what the hell he was doing and all we saw was Chris unbuckling his pants, saying he would open my brother's bottle. Automatically the jokes started coming out, "Ew Chris, what the..? How are you planning on opening his beer? With your sausage?'....."Look man, I just wanted a beer.... you didn't have to undo your pants for that." So basically all night whenever someone needed their beer opened, Chris would jokingly be beckoned that his sausage was needed.' Then my cousin pulled up this picture on his phone he was previously sent that was an image of an actual package of white sauce mix that you could actually buy from a grocery store in Toronto, it was called 'Creamy White Finishing Sauce' and it depicted an image of a slab of lifeless meat with this white sauce drizzled on top. Next came the jokes and laughs about sausage and white finishing sauce, and you can probably just imagine the jokes and banter that came from having a huge stack of jumbo sausages on the table, and the white sauce jokes. My brothers and cousin started grabbing these sausages , jokingly thrusting the air, bugging their wives/girlfriends....you know, the good ol' boy humor that comes out in every man when they are A) amongst men, and B) slightly intoxicated.
So my youngest brother Robert decides that he wants to dare my cousin Chris. Chris likes to be dared to do things, drunk or sober. And Robert? Well he's kind of the same way, but this time he wanted to do the daring, the betting. A bet of $100.00 apparently is the going rate for drunken wagers.
Robert bet Chris $100.00 to take this jumbo curved sausage, hold it at his crotch in an erect position dipped in sour cream, or the 'creamy white finishing sauce' as we joked. He had to walk down the street, and go not the convenience store, stroll the aisles, and walk back out.....all while holding this sausage with white sauce at his crotch. Well, he did it. He did it with no hesitation, and like a true champ. He paraded right in there, sausage out and all. A few of us, Mom included, followed behind him giggling like children, cameras in hand ready for pictures. My Mom got the best shots, and I can't wait to see them. Honestly, that night made my summer so far. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time! The best part about that whole night was because it was with my cousin Chris. My 'bruzzy' as I call him. See, bruzzy is my hybrid word fo r brother and cousin. That's exactly what he is to me, more of a brother than a cousin, and I love him to pieces! I in turn, am his 'sizzy'. Pretty sure you can figure that one out. We have great talks, great laughs, and last night was simply epic. A night I'm sure none of us will ever forget! This one is definitely going down in our family history! We will never be the typical Tanner family (90's kids will get this one) and most of our family holiday dinners involve conversations consisting of toilet humor, some mild profanity, and gross or embarrassing story telling. But at the end of the day, I wouldn't trade my crazy, silly family for nothing!

Testostrogen

Every time Sunday rolls around in the summer, I get excited because I have dubbed it 'Car Sunday'. This is the one designated day where I spend time with Darth (my car's name :P) by washing, waxing, and polishing him up....by hand! I'm serious. I get right down to the nitty gritty and get dirty by cleaning and shining up every single one of his spokes on his sweet 18' rims. I drive an Acura. Or as my friend Natalie likes to call it, a Blackura, because he's completely all blacked out head to toe, inside, and out. I thoroughly enjoy all aspects of cleaning my car, and I have genuine interest and willingness to learn anything and everything about cars. Does this make me a boy? Nah. What if I told you that the smells of summer to me aren't necessarily the sweet smell of flowers or fresh cut grass, but rather that smell upon cracking open and using a fresh bottle of tire shine or high-gloss car wax, or the smell of new tires? Does that make me a boy? Hmm, it's debatable. I love nice cars, speed adrenaline, I want to take lessons and get a motorcycle one day soon (that's definitely on my to-do list)............but on the flip side? Oh, I am oh-so feminine. So how the hell did that happen you ask? Simple. It's the 'testostrogen' ; a hybrid word I just made up to describe a part of what makes me 'me', and to give you a glimpse into what and who I grew up around. My male influences....okay we'll call them brothers plus Dad.
So I grew up in a family of 6.....my Mom, Dad, myself and 3 brothers. Two older and one younger. Being the only girl had it's perks but also it's downfalls. But now that I'm older and see how it has shaped me into who I am today, I honestly would not have had it any other way. I was literally one of the boys, so it was always a challenge being a girl around my brothers. I would have to play Barbies in the privacy of my own room all the time because action figures, cap guns, Tonka trucks, and Nerf guns would dominate. Oh  how I loved being a girl though - I had so many great memories, and a lot of awesome little friends. I loved wearing my Mom's high heels, putting her lipstick on and walking around my room when she wasn't home. Of course I loved my dolls, my precious Cabbage Patch doll, my Easy-Bake oven, skipping ropes, paper dolls, and dress-up clothes as well. But when you grow up around 4 guys, they tend to rub off on you in some ways, and you find that in order to bond with your siblings at all, you have to find a common ground. Would they ever play house, or play Barbies with me? Oh hell no! So I would naturally be the one to have to play by some of their rules, and their games. So basically everything from playing in the dirt, playing with action figures, nicky-nicky nine doors, experimenting lighting things on fire to see them burn, cap guns, to watching horror movies (which I believe that must be where my love of movies came from) and intense play fighting. I use the word 'play' very loosely here because there was nothing really that playful about it. Nope, not at all. I learned to take punches and beatings like a champ, and I guess that's one of the things I am thankful for today from my lovely brothers. In beating the snot out of each other, I had to learn how to take it, administer it, and basically just be tough. Street smarts from growing up in the area that we did, and having to be tough from some of the childhood experiences growing up in my family. And where am I at today in retrospect of my hybrid word 'testostrogen' ? Hahahaha, well..........take the glimpse I just explained, and tie in all these little extras - I love fashion, I'm a makeup artist, I absolutely love to bake, I own a ridiculous amount of shoes and clothing, I can't go anywhere without at least one piece of jewelry, I think dresses are a staple, I love everything romantic in life, getting butterflies, and love letters, I admire Audrey Hepburn to the fullest, I cannot wait to get married one day and have a gorgeous, perfect wedding, I love having long hair, and I think every girl should own an LBD and the perfect red lipstick. *sigh* Geez, would you look at the time? I have a fabulous concert to attend with my gorgeous gals, and I haven't even polished up my rims yet, or put in that bottle of fuel injector. Testostrogen at it's finest.
                

The Games People Play

Some days I feel that life really is just a big ol' board game. Move 5 spaces forward, move 3 spaces back. Miss a turn. Being unable to move ahead because your bad luck won't let you roll the right number on the dice. What I find funny though, is how people everywhere complain about how they don't like playing games, they despise mind games, and they claim that all they want from someone is for them to be 'straight up', to the point, and honest. In this busy day and age where people say they just 'don't have time for bullshit', I find it quite amusing how 'bullshitting' and 'game playing' are actually quite evident in more ways than one.
Games are constantly being played everywhere you look. Not just in some of the more obvious ways, but in less obvious ways or ways that maybe you haven't even thought of.
So, the other day I got to thinking about this topic for today's blog post over some wine with my good friend. We were having our awesome girl chats as usual, and she came to the conclusion about her kryptonite crush being that she only likes him as much as she does because he simply does not want to be with her in a relationship. Sure she loved a lot of things about him, his personality, charisma and all that jazz, but at the end of the day.....he doesn't want her. Naturally, as human nature would prove time and time again, this theory of 'wanting what you can't have' usually is quite right. So ladies and gentlemen, I bring you 'The NO Factor". Someone says 'no', you naturally want it, or want it more than you did before. This is a game played on so many scales, from taking an ignored toy away from a child to which then the child responds by wanting it even though he/she wasn't playing with it in the first place.....to even being denied entry to a snooty private party or some bar - No, I don't want to attend your lame party, but now that you aren't allowing me to go, I'm now upset and badly wanting to attend! Funny, right?
What about the games being played when we call in to a call center, whether it be a utilities company, a travel agency, or your cable/internet/phone provider? I'm sure most of us have been there when we get all riled up before our phone call, rehearsing exactly what we want to say to ensure we get a deal, or the best price out there otherwise we're quitting! That's right, if you don't give me what I want or give me a better discount then I'm going elsewhere, and you will lose my business! Ohhhhh but it's all about the bluff calling, isn't it? People will call in , make a demand, and threaten to discontinue service, basically trying to call the other person's bluff on who will crack, or who will stand down and submit. I used to work in a call center, and this happened alllllllll the tiiiiiiime. It was always a game to see who could squeeze what out of who, and calling each others bluff.
How about on the road? Yeah we play games on the road all the time, but this one always cracks me up and really just makes me shake my head. So you have driver A driving 110km in the left lane. Driver B driving 90km in the right. As Driver A gradually catches up to Driver B and needs to switch lanes in front of him, Driver B suddenly decides that he's going to speed up and match the speed of  Driver A, AND prevent him from switching lanes into his....for no reason at all. Just to be an idiot. Just to play a game.
Maybe that's just what keeps things interesting. I know and have learned that in relationships specifically, it is all about the chase. Women have to be careful not to show too much emotion, get too 'clingy',or be too available otherwise we get labels like 'psycho' or 'obsessed', or 'too attached'. Men too can get the same labels if they aren't careful about how they conduct themselves in the beginning dating stage, along with 'creepy', or 'desperate' labels. Then there's all the ridiculous rules such as waiting a certain amount of days before you first call your prospective man/woman. Or what about the rules of paying when on dates? It's like a showdown of who's going to step up to the plate and pay! But you have to make sure you play the game right otherwise you may end up hindering your next chance. If you really like someone, naturally it shows, and naturally you will want to let that person know, or do things to show that person you care and are interested............Yet we're not supposed to, for fear of turning them off , therefore meaning the less we show we care, the better? And the more we show we care, the worse? Man we have it so ass backwards here. Me personally, if I'm really interested in someone, I can't help but make it known. Really, I will! I even remember one time dropping off a red rose and a love letter for a guy in Junior High. Would I pull that move now? Umm no, definitely not. Rookie move Amanda, rookie move.Sometimes though, even when you don't want to be a part of the game, you might realize you're already in it. Even when you try hard not to. Admit it if you want to. Deny it if you have to but men and women love to chase and to be chased, and people in general like to be challenged mentally, physically, and emotionally. And the games people play, are just about everywhere you look. It's what people do, and well.......I guess you could say that it keeps things interesting in the game of life. "Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her, but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game" - Voltaire

When Disaster Strikes

First and foremost....HAPPY CANADA DAY!!!! I love my country, I really love being a Canadian. Not only is it absolutely beautiful, multicultural, and full of history, but it is also full of some truly beautiful and amazing people. I'm talking beauty on the inside! I live in Calgary, Alberta, and if you have seen the news within the past week, you would have seen the devastating, state of emergency flooding we experienced. Not just in Calgary, but throughout cities and towns in Alberta. Calgary unfortunately was one of the cities that were hit pretty hard. To be specific, the communities closer to our main rivers, and our entire downtown core. Being a born and raised Calgarian, it was really hard to see my city under water, landmark areas destroyed, and all these people lose their homes and possessions in the flood. But........in this state of emergency when disaster struck, a lot of our proud citizens all came together to clean-up and rebuild........and that was exactly what I did this long weekend.

Volunteers everywhere, all unsure of what to expect but we came as best prepared as possible with rain boots, dust masks, gloves, and tools, ready to take on whatever missions we were given. There was a volunteer station set up for everyone, with a coordinator glued to a cell phone answering incoming texts and phone calls from desperate evacuees and residents in need of flood relief assistance. Also 4 big tables loaded with food, safety and first aid supplies, and also nourishment for the volunteers to keep going strong.

I still cannot believe just how many volunteers there were helping out, going door to door in these communities. It was just incredible! Our first mission was to deliver food and water to some homes that had residents in them who hadn't eaten in days. We were teamed up with this woman who had driven down from Edmonton in her mini van, to devote an entire week to helping out Calgary. She had her van all decorated up with sweet hand written messages, colorfully scribbled everywhere. These messages/words of encouragement to Calgary were done by students and teachers of an Edmonton middle school. The craziest, most amazing thing about this situation is that the woman didn't even know a single person here in Calgary! She just hopped in her van, drove 3 hours to Calgary, and found a family to rent a room from for the week during her stay. Now if that doesn't warm your heart, then I'm convinced you're just made of stone.

Trekking along in our muddy boots, we came across another home in need. We helped this woman wash down some of her belongings, and bleach spray the walls and wood for bacteria prevention. As I was cleaning her things, she came up to me with this ancient sewing machine, and had big sad eyes. "Do you think I can keep this and we can get it to work? I've had this sewing machine for 40 years!" she exclaimed. So together we tried to dump out some of the water, dry some things up, and plug it in....but it didnt work, and she was upset. This lady told me about how she cries everyday for a good hour since this flood, and how she lost so many irreplaceable things. I was compassionate to her stories, and then continued with the flood clean-up. Then what does she do twenty minutes later after we're all done? She insists on mixing us up some gin and tonics and sitting down amongst the mess to have a drink with her before we leave. She took pictures of us, and asked for our contact info as she told us how she wants to have a 'fantasy party' with all her volunteers one day after this disaster is all said and done. We had good conversation, and thats afternoon, while we were sipping our gin and tonics with her and the sun was shining I realized that this is also what the people need here - some normalcy, companionship, and assurance that with every dark storm comes sunshine. She had a lot of hope in her eyes, and she smiled the entire time. There was also another memorable house where we had to scoop, rake and dig out all the debris and silt on this homeowner's lawn. Seems pretty straight forward and basic, right? Well, with every single stroke of that rake, or break of that shovel, I was finding bits and pieces of people's lives, and it was so heart breaking. A photo here, someone's knit scarf there, childrens toys, and pieces of furniture and possessions. I definitely had to take a few deep breaths to regroup. And it wasn't just the material things. It was seeing all the beautiful trees and plant life ripped down, broken, and splayed out everywhere. Just destroyed. I never realized just how strong water could be. To even imagine a tsunami? Well..... I don't even want to. 

This weekend was an incredible experience for me. I wanted to spend my long weekend volunteering my time to my city, and I am so glad I did. More importantly, I'm so glad that so many people did. I mean, the amount of volunteers doing any and everything they were sent to do just blows my mind. It is truly amazing how an unfortunate event like this can bring so many people together, and reflect such spirit. It's also amazing to me that despite all the negative impact of this flood, despite all the trouble and stress these people are going through, despite all the damage, loss and absolute messes everywhere, that each and every single person whether they were a volunteer, a city worker/contractor, or a flood victim.....they all were smiling, in good spirits, and everyone was working together like this huge family. Strangers thanking strangers with hugs, strangers asking strangers to help them put a Band-Aid on, and strangers making food for strangers. Life is beautiful! If  I could take only one thing from that whole experience, it would be that the word "stranger" doesn't really exist at all to me because at the end of the day we're all one big family. One love.