Where The Heck Is It?

So it's December 1st and I'm sitting here wondering 'where the heck is it?' . Where is that feeling of excitement and nostalgia that I normally would've already had by now, specifically like two weeks ago? I'm talking about the Christmas spirit that one usually gets around this time of year. Some of you may think 'well geez, it's only December first Amanda' but that doesn't mean anything when it comes to me. Picture this......it's October 30th, the day before Halloween and the big stores are selling out the last of their Halloween stock. This stock takes up an entire aisle!.....wait a minute...except for the tiny little one shelf section at the end with Christmas decorations, gradually pushing its way onto the Halloween shelf and anxiously awaiting for the clock to strike midnight into November 1st. No one is  paying any attention at all to the Christmas stuff yet except well......except for me. How exciting is it to see all the different pretty wrapping paper, the festive ribbons, the glitter adorned tree ornaments? Or the selection of gorgeous and artful Christmas cards that are always so beautifully embellished?  I tell you, no other holiday gets me feeling so merry and bright like Christmas. So I'm sure you can understand how happy I get upon even just the first slightest sign that the season is upon us. Or at least I USED to. For some strange reason I'm not feeling that way at all yet, and it's very unlike me. I have told a couple friends this and how I think I may be 'broken' or something, but they just laugh it off and tell me not to worry because either a) everyone's feeling like that this year apparently or b) it happens. C'mon you guys, this is a serious problem, I may have caught some nasty Grinch syndrome or something! Ha ha! They laugh it off  ( and fair enough because I don't think this would normally be an issue for someone other than me) BUT this is ME we're talking about here - anything Christmasy you can think of, I do it all.... Well except for caroling door to door, but in my defense, in this day and age, and in North America, it would just be stupid or unsafe to do that. With all the crazies using guns, or cannibal-induced drugs, the pedophiles, and the sex offenders, you just never know really (sad but true). And if that's not what you're concerned about, how about the embarrassment or awkwardness that could occur when you're serenading 'Santa Baby' to a man in his underwear and slippers? Yikes! Can you imagine? Ahhh yes, good ol' Christmas time!  After all, it is about spreading Christmas cheer isn't it? So where the heck is mine?

Yesterday I headed out on a mission. After trying to find my spirit last week by playing Christmas jams non-stop and rocking out to Mariah Carey's complete Christmas albums in my car to and from work ( yes I was clearly trying very hard) , I failed miserably. So yesterday I decided that after I was done my hair appointment I would head over to one of our biggest and best malls where there was sure to be some festivities and Christmas charm in the air. I figured I was going to start my Christmas shopping and that would definitely help. As soon as I walked into the mall I swear I had to seriously coach myself through some therapeutic breathing to stay in a chilled out, carefree mode......and I did okay on the outside, pleasantly smiling to people who would bump into me carelessly, and step on my toes trying to make their way to yet another Black Friday sale rack. On the inside though, my patience was being tested for sure! So I get myself a Starbucks eggnog latte to assist with this mission. Nothing beats that! I was blissful in my egg nog world until I overheard a conversation between two females gossiping about a male customer who was in that store buying a necklace for his girlfriend. They were whispering to each other with disgust talking about how cheap that man is to buy a sterling silver necklace for his girlfriends Christmas present, and how he should be buying her white gold. Wow, what a complete jerk that man is to be buying a necklace for his girlfriend. Gee, that is the most unthoughtful thing I have ever heard of. What an ass! Then they continued to say to each other how they would never accept crappy silver for a Christmas present and that if they got white gold as a gift and it didn't cost more than 200.00 at least, they'd be asking for a gift receipt so they could exchange the "cheap gift". Yeah it took everything in me to just keep my mouth shut and quietly walk away. I just shook my head. So needless to say, that didn't exactly help either.

You know, when I go to the malls during Christmas time, yes I expect it to be busy, hectic, crazy, and full of rushed, stressed people. I can handle that for the most part. UNLESS my feet hurt, in which in that case you're better back off. But today I was more or less kinda hoping for the mall to be decked out in Christmas fashion, big trees all lit up and decorated, and Bing Crosby crooning some classic Christmas tunes over the PA system. But sadly, no. It was more just plastered with sale signs and posters, and top 40 music playing in every store. And do you think I ended up getting some shopping done for my friends and family? Of course not. I picked possibly the worst day to go because there were these outrageous Black Friday sales at every single store! You'd think that would be a good thing, but not so much when you have 50 people crammed into one store trying to buy up everything in sight.

After some time I decided to call it quits for the day, and made plans with myself to attempt it again next week sometime. I got in my car and tuned in the radio to the Christmas jams to try force some Christmas into my soul for the ride home. So all in all, mission not so accomplished just yet. But I do have a few other things up my sleeve that have always been a part of tradition for me, and are sure to bring my broken spirit right back on track! Baking! Christmas baking! And that officially starts today! 

Happy December 1st!