One thing I love about blogging is how easily I can be inspired for a topic at the most random of times or events. Just yesterday while sitting in a mall food court enjoying some delicious pad Thai and people watching, I became inspired for a topic involving the people and interactions that I was witnessing. I thought to myself "okay this is what I'm going to write about tomorrow for sure!"
But then....fast forward later into the evening and I found myself over at our family next door neighbor's house who's a great friend of ours, enjoying a fun little Saturday night get together. Some of my family, some of his family, basically all one awesome family and all awesome friends.
It was such a fun evening filled with good food, drinks, belly-splitting laughs, and great conversation!
We're honestly just so lucky to have a neighbor like Charles, one who welcomes us into his home just as if we were family, has no judgement or fakeness and is an absolute blast to be around and tell stories with. Most people never even get to know their neighbors names nowadays! So the fact that Charles had invited us over to meet one of his brothers who had just flown in from Newfoundland to visit, and to meet some of his old time friends was really quite an honor, if I may put it that way.
I personally have always believed that whenever one meets anothers family member, whether it's on a friend basis, a professional basis or a romantically involved relationship, that person has chosen to let down one of their walls for you to welcome you into a more personal part of their life. It means they actually see value in you and the relationship that you share. To me, that's just beautiful.
So getting to my point, amongst all the great conversation through the night, I engaged in one in particular that inspired this post today. It was something so simple, so uncomplicated and so pure that it almost made me want to slap myself in the head for not paying more attention to this in my real life. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized just how true it was, and how sometimes in life we need that person to take us out of this crazy world for a minute and remind us how to listen to that natural voice inside us. And so I dedicate this post to the Lee brothers, and to Bruce specifically for making me tune in just a little bit more to my own heart.
Bruce and I started talking about relationships and the dating world today. People tend to be a bit surprised when I tell them I'm single and that I have in fact been for quite some time. I'm a long term relationship kinda gal, and after any end of a relationship I personally feel the need to take time to distance myself from that ended past relationship, have my own time to regenerate and renew, and then only from there will I feel ready to open myself up to the possibility of something new in my life with someone I care about. There are many different important factors that make up a relationship, a thriving and meaningful relationship, and everyone has their own 'check list' of things they need or want in one. Some things on that list can be overlooked and aren't really necessary, and some things are absolute. Basically we all know what we will and will not stand for and we all know what we want in a relationship. I like to think this comes with age and experience (at least from my experience) - the more dating experiences both good and bad that you've had in a lifetime will only further sharpen your precision on what exactly you like and do not like. We're all different and unique that way, and that's what draws one person to another, that's how levels of compatibility are formed.
This makes us selective with our choices because we don't want to waste our time, or the other persons time. There is truly something to be said about people who take their time finding that person and not just dating someone just to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. I think so many people stay together for the wrong reasons, and on that same note so many people avoid being together for even MORE wrong reasons. And why? Well if you really dig to the root of it all, it usually comes down to society in the sense of being worried what other people will think. Sure there are those one off valid reasons, but I think the logic of it all is sometimes rather poisonous.
See Bruce was explaining to me about logic versus your gut, or your heart. So the question is which one do we listen to? Or which one should we listen to? In some scenarios, I'd say logic, but when it comes to love and relationships, why aren't we all listening more to our hearts or our gut feeling rather than our brains? The brain is mean I decipher things, be analytical, provide equations and send messages on how we should feel. So then I ask you, how does the brain know what we should feel? Those thoughts must have been out there somehow, the brain was was not pre-programmed upon birth. It was and is society that puts these certain thoughts into our heads. It's the logic that has been formed to make us think something is right or wrong for us. But what about the oldest most purest form , the most natural form - how we feel inside? It's so easy to silence that gut feeling whether it may be a good feeling or a really bad feeling,so we do it anyways because that's the logical answer, and apparently the logical answer is always the right one.
Well I totally disagree.
Bruce told me a story about how he was in a relationship for something like 15 years but had never truly had that feeling like he wanted to marry this woman. He couldn't figure out why really but logically he felt he should stay. Then eventually the relationship ended and he met a wonderful woman whom only after knowing for a short while knew he wanted to be with and marry. He explained how the logic was trying to get in the way - he had everyone telling him he shouldn't marry her for different silly reasons, and it would have been so easy to just listen to the logic of it, but instead he chose to listen to his heart and married her. His gut feeling was telling him this was right, but the logic was slightly saying different. He ignore the logic and is so happy he did, and he is in a happy and loving relationship with his best friend, his beautiful wife. So Bruce gave me his advice, I'm its sweetest most simplest form - listen to my gut feeling, not the logic. It was my Mr Miyagi moment with Bruce Lee (yes that's his name :) ) and so I had to share it with the world.
This story made me wonder and clue in to just how many times I may have been listening to much to my logical side when I should have probably should have just silenced that voice a bit and given my gut instinct the benefit of the doubt. So before I left at the end of the night, which ended at 4am, as my parting gift of wisdom from him, he said "Remember Amanda...." and points to his stomach and smiles, then point to his head, frowns and shakes his head to say 'no'. Sweetest advice ever. To all the Lee brothers of the Charlie clan, especially Bruce and Charlie, thank you for being just awesome!
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