Road Block Ahead

So I was having a drink with one of my girlfriends in downtown Calgary at this upscale little restaurant patio along the trendy Stephen Avenue. Now Stephen Ave is situated right in the downtown core amongst all the big office buildings and shops. During the work week hours this street isn't open to vehicles at all, but rather all the busy corporate crowd frequenting the many restolounges and pubs lined along the street. Overall, it's a pretty little street with some beautiful historical buildings, fine dining, fashion boutiques, and the occasional street performer.

So back to Natalie and I ; we were enjoying some very strong gin and bourbon martinis at The Belvedere. It was nice. I had a rather shitty end to a day and so drowning my sorrows and frustration in a strong drink seemed like just the right antidote at that time.

It was really quite a beautiful night - the weather was a perfect temperature, we had some delicious food and we were seated at a pretty little outdoor table with white linen, and plush, cozy red throne-like chairs that were fit for a couple of queens!

So we're sitting there, chatting, drinking and such (as were the other few pairs of people who were out on the patio that evening). There was a man and a woman seated at a table together, next to us. They looked to be in their early 40s.....well him, possibly 50. They appeared to be on a date, but I wasn't sure at first anyways as we weren't even paying attention to them.............that is, until we heard a piece of their conversation that instantly set off both of our female red-flags-for-male-bullshit radars!

The line we heard was a classic, and oh-so typical line used by many men as their passport to panty land, also known as the empty promise :

Man : (enthusiastically spoken) Do you like to travel???

(Okay, really buddy? What kind of question is that? Who doesn't like to travel?. Easy panty access on that one I guess)

Woman : (spoken even more enthusiastically)  Oh my God, YES!!!!

(Perrrrrfect. She's already biting. Bra - vo. Bra.......vo. He deserves a gold star already don't ya think?)

Man : Tell me, have you ever been to New Orleans??

Woman: (huge smile plastered on her face) No I haven't!

Man: Would you like to go to New Orleans with me? Lets go to New Orleans!!! Lets do it!

Woman:  ( leaning so close into the table eagerly and with excitement) YES!! Oh my God YES!!! YES!!!

Man : Do you like jazz? Tell me you like jazz because I......

Woman : (cuts man off mid sentence almost shrieking with joy) Oh my God yes I love jazz!! (giggles) yes!!!!

.......at this point she's leaning in with so much happiness (oh you silly woman you) and the man is just loving it and feeding her his lines, full knowing in his head that this is his empty promise guaranteed to make most women weak at the knees at the thought of being whisked away for a fun and free spontaneous getaway with some new man in a suit.

Man : I'm serious, lets do this! I'll take you to New Orleans, and we should go to Chicago too! Have you ever been to Chicago?.

Woman : (still bursting with excitement at the seams) No! But I'd love to!!!!!

Man : Okay!! Great!! I'll take you there too!!

So this date (it was pretty obvious after listening to a lot of the convo that it was in fact a date and that they knew very little about each other) had gone from tame and reserved with a glass of wine to "Oh baby ill take you here....I'll take you there.....do you like jazz? Have you ever been to Chicago? Lets go!" with this woman hanging off of every word he said. Oh and the funny part that concluded their conversation? Ha ha ha.....well he smiles and gets up immediately to go pay/use the washroom (but really, we know its because he sealed his deal to panty land and they're gonna leave, they'll probably get more drinks just to ensure her female conscience doesn't kick in when he's topping up her glass of panty remover, and he's gonna get exactly what he wanted out of it ; sex. Easy sex. And all he had to do was feed her the usual empty promises) and he knocks over his glass of red wine all on the white linen table (real classy there mister moneybags Romeo) , and gives her a greasy little wink. I almost barfed when I witnessed that.

So they leave, and Natalie and I just laugh and recap the whole scenario. We found it hilariously entertaining but also we came to the grim realization that this type of thing happens at ALL ages. Men still lie and bullshit at ALL ages. And yes I know us women lie too, but that's not my point right now. Women lie for different reasons than men I believe. I think at the end of the day it's mostly because we lie on an emotional level, to protect our feelings. This realization shows that no matter what age we are in the dating world, one thing never dies or never becomes old, and that is the fact that men will say anything to try get in women's pants. Anything! Empty promises? You got it! Making you think you're the only one? Coming right up!

The truth is, people are gonna bullshit you for the rest of your life every so often, and being a hopeless romantic female myself, it can become quite difficult in romantic situations where you want to believe they are telling the truth and that you didn't just make up this whole fantasy in your head, but at the same time having a strong and precious heart of gold is something you want to protect with everything inside you.

So what's the best way to try avoid and foresee all these sweet-talkin' deadly road blocks ahead? Be smart, adjust your mirrors, put those headlights on high beam straight ahead and watch out for them. It's an epidemic, assholes in the mirror are closer than they appear. In fact, they're just friggin' everywhere.